What's on this site: CPF on Facebook The Ozone Commandos, the Comic Book The Ozone Commandos Go to Hell A Hoax Unveiled: The Christian Crusade to Stamp Out Science Fiction What the FAQ is Corn Pone Flicks? Get a clue! A note from Matt regarding
CPF's fansubs How to get on our bad side...a history of obnoxious rulebreakers This whole live-action vs. anime film thing Do You Think You'd Like to Have a Blockbuster Up Your Ass? Other Links/Fave Places
Our Star Blazers-The Star Blazers/Space Battleship Yamato Fandom Archive Lather's Blather, The Super-Hyper-Mega-Podcast Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal Scientology, World's Stupidest Religion |
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CPF Times Corn Pone Flicks Presents Third episode of CPF Reviews CPF looks back at Star Blazers, one of the few anime properties they can still watch without vomiting. Ozone Commandos Part One Completed!!!!! After an absolutely ludicrous seventeen years in production, part one (that's right; seventeen years for half of the film) of The Ozone Commandos has been completed. The premiere showing occurred at Anime Weekend Atlanta on September 20th, 2009. Watch the film right here: What the hell is this film, you ask? Read more.... The Ozone Commandos want YOU... ...to read about their exciting and misanthropic adventures! Yes, the original comic book that the long-belated movie is based upon is now available for consumption right here on cornponeflicks.org, because it's so much easier than printing and binding copies to mail out. If you just can't take the cliff-hangery ending of the film, you can totally get spoiled on the outcome. Three issues are up for thrill-a-minute reading right here, and their final adventure can be found here. Presently available for order on DVD: UFO Robo Grandizer vs Great Mazinger and Corn Pone Shorts Volume 1 DVD, covering short films from 1989-1997
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Rapture Allegedly Prevents Zombie ApocalypseIn a leg-mangling display of backpedaling, Harold Camping has asserted that the May 21st rapture did, in fact, occur after all, but only in regards to the dead. "Two hundred million good Christian corpses were sucked from their graves and taken up to Heaven, just as I sort of, kind of, almost but not quite predicted all along," claimed the lifelong nutter at a press conference the following Tuesday. He hoped the news would placate the countless decent, hardworking Christian folk who were grievously disappointed when approximately five point eight billion people did not begin suffering and dying on schedule, as they'd hoped. Camping then went on the describe how his Family Radio compound had been beseiged by zombies throughout the afternoon of May 21, which had all disappeared, leaving behind no trace of the furious assault. "No one scrubs a crime scene clean the way God can," the evangelist proclaimed smugly. "Those undead beasts came looking for brains to eat, and they left hungry." He asserted that many members of his staff were prepared to testify to the truth of the zombie attack, at some undisclosed future point when they had recovered from the shock, and "fully expected" that similar testimonials of narrowly-averted zombie feedings would soon come rolling in from around the world. When asked why a pack of what must have been zombified Christians would attack non-zombified Christians, Camping retorted, "There are no non-zombified Christians in my flock. I would think that the events of the past few months would've proved that beyond doubt." New Bill Would Mandate Arming Students at Public Schools"An armed school is a polite school," says Speaker John Boehner.A bill making its way through Congress would require all high school students attending public schools to carry firearms in order to offset the rise in school shootings. Speaker of the House John Boehner, who repeatedly insisted that his name not be pronounced "boner," expressed his support and enthusiasm. "These little emo twerps will think twice about trying to act out their revenge fantasies when the entire student body is packing heat. They try that shit under this law, they'll end up as a pile of lead and guts stuffed into a Skillet T-shirt." Boehner deflected criticisms by assuring reporters that the law would include provisions mandating target practice. "Collateral damage is always embarrassing to the 2nd Amendment," he conceded before going on to describe the bill as a test bed for possible future requirements concerning airplane passengers. The speaker dismissed the deluge of hippy, tree-hugging leftist bullshit whining about "thousands of dead students" as distracting and alarmist. "These people clearly think that good, hard-working honor students, and uh, the rest of them too, I guess, should be sitting ducks while in the classroom, which is fairly stupid considering that college-educated individuals tend to vote Democrat. Don't they think these things through?" A sudden look of worry was observed to cross his face at that point, at which time he hastily excused himself from the press meeting. |
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Leper Jim Briefly Caught Up in RaptureLeper Jim Remarks "Dude!"
Though the much-vaunted May 21 rapture was considered a bust, Leper Jim claims to have spent at least an hour in the great beyond. "Heaven is a lot like being high. A whole lot. It's uncanny. God must be a stoner. I see no other explanation for it." Here's a quick guide to what the site is all about: First, this News page here will contain important information regarding the site, and the very latest from the CPF crew themselves. Commonly read (we hope) editorials, instruction pages, special reports, and links to other sites are referenced in the far left sidebar. The Filmography page contains a listing of all of Corn Pone Flicks' projects in a list form. Clicking on a title from the list pops up a window with exquisite detail about each work, some of which is even true. The Filmography page also includes a link to up-to-date information regarding upcoming CPF projects. The About CPF page contains biographical and other information about the cast of characters that makes up the gestalt of zaniness known as Corn Pone Flicks. The Contact page is VERY VERY important. It includes ALL THE DETAILS about how one should contact Corn Pone Flicks and request copies of their films. Please, please read this section carefully! The CPF elder gods are extremely busy and following these guidelines helps immensely when it comes to the time it takes to get tapes done. If you're a dumbass, please get someone who's not to handle the contact arrangements. The CPF Reviews page contains all the info you need on what films you ought to like or dislike in order to be at all cool. The Captain Harlock Archives is our newest section, providing all the info you ever wanted to know about Captain Harlock and related series, buttressed between mounds of trivia you never cared about knowing. If you read something elsewhere that seems to contradict what you read in here, it's only because the other source is wrong. The CPF Mailing List is a place to go to if you want to blather about our crap (or at least listen to us do so) and/or ask questions and such. Someday, one of the fifty-odd current members who aren't actually in CPF might actually ask some, so be there when it happens!! The CPF F.A.Q. contains additional info the curious reader might wish to peruse regarding what we do and why. So don't say we never talk to you.
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(AP Newswire)