What's on this site: The Ozone Commandos, the Comic Book The Ozone Commandos Go to Hell A Hoax Unveiled: The Christian Crusade to Stamp Out Science Fiction What the FAQ is Corn Pone Flicks? Get a clue! A note from Matt regarding
CPF's fansubs How to get on our bad side...a history of obnoxious rulebreakers This whole live-action vs. anime film thing Do You Think You'd Like to Have a Blockbuster Up Your Ass? Other Links/Fave Places Lather's Blather, The Super-Hyper-Mega-Podcast Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal Scientology, World's Stupidest Religion |
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CPF Times Ozone Commandos film on Track for 2009 Premiere After an absolutely ludicrous seventeen years in production, part one (that's right; seventeen years for half of the film) of The Ozone Commandos is nearing completion, and will hopefully have its premiere at Anime Weekend Atlanta this fall. If not, it means that, well, something happened. What the hell is this film, you ask? Read more.... The Ozone Commandos want YOU... ...to read about their exciting and misanthropic adventures! Yes, the original comic book that the long-belated movie was to be based upon is now available for consumption right here on cornponeflicks.org, because it's so much easier than printing and binding copies to mail out, and also because it's a bone to throw to the two or so people out there who were still hoping to see the film version. Three issues are up for thrill-a-minute reading right here, and their final adventure can be found here. Presently available for order on DVD: UFO Robo Grandizer vs Great Mazinger and Corn Pone Shorts vol. 1 DVD Coming Any Day Now This should've been available a year and a half ago, but it's failed to become so because, in short, technology sucks. Reconstruction has finally been completed, and I'm awaiting the final version, re-authored by Neil Nadleman.
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New Administration to Impose "LOL" taxFaced with an overwhelming economic crisis and soaring budget defict, the Obama Administration is poised to levy a new tax in order to bolster the overstressed Federal Reserve. All uses of the term "LOL" appearing on the Internet will now carry an attached ten-cent per usage tax penalty. In a stunning move, the tax has also been made retroactive, and once passed is expected to produce an astonishing nine hundred trillion dollars from ex post facto collections alone, with an estimated continuing seven trillion dollars in income per year, mostly coming from stupid, illiterate teenagers, a public sector once dismissed as having nothing of value to contribute to society's betterment. New IPhone "Baby Shakers" game causing controversy"Shut up! Will you shut up already!" exclaims enthusiastic gamerA new game taking advantage of the IPhone's motion control system has provoked ire in some quarters. Players of the freely-downloadable game "Baby Shaker" will periodically find their IPhone whining and eventually screaming like an insufferable child, at which point the user must violently shake the phone until the virtual baby falls, according to the game instructions, "into a peaceful slumber." Subsequent bouts of screaming must be dealt with by increasingly long and severe shakings, prompting parents' groups to get all up in a typical tizzy about "bad examples" and "teaching abuse" and "dead babies." "It's all in good fun," counters game developer Dick Hickory, who denies that the game, along with other titles in the series such as Fly Fishing, Spear Chucker, Discus Throw, and Virtual Dry Wall Hammer are intended to cause premature loss of or damage to the IPhone, necessitating repeat purchases. "That's absolute nonsense," Dick retorted. "It's an Apple product; it breaks down all on its own quite well with any help from me." |
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Leper Jim to Run Alongside Palin in 2012Leper Jim Remarks "She makes me look smart."
Despite ideological differences on all possible subjects, Jim has announced he will seek the Vice-Presidential position on the announced Palin 2012 GOP ticket. "I'm going to put the "vice" back into "Vice-President," he cheerfully and slowly announced over the span of approximately two hours. "America needs a return to the founding principles." When told he clearly had no idea what the job of the Vice-President entailed, he simply remarked, "My future running-mate has already demonstrated how little that matters." Here's a quick guide to what the site is all about: First, this News page here will contain important information regarding the site, and the very latest from the CPF crew themselves. Commonly read (we hope) editorials, instruction pages, special reports, and links to other sites are referenced in the far left sidebar. The Filmography page contains a listing of all of Corn Pone Flicks' projects in a list form. Clicking on a title from the list pops up a window with exquisite detail about each work, some of which is even true. The Filmography page also includes a link to up-to-date information regarding upcoming CPF projects. The About CPF page contains biographical and other information about the cast of characters that makes up the gestalt of zaniness known as Corn Pone Flicks. The Contact page is VERY VERY important. It includes ALL THE DETAILS about how one should contact Corn Pone Flicks and request copies of their films. Please, please read this section carefully! The CPF elder gods are extremely busy and following these guidelines helps immensely when it comes to the time it takes to get tapes done. If you're a dumbass, please get someone who's not to handle the contact arrangements. The CPF Reviews page contains all the info you need on what films you ought to like or dislike in order to be at all cool. A new section, which will likely grow as we keep yapping. The Captain Harlock Archives is our newest section, providing all the info you ever wanted to know about Captain Harlock and related series, buttressed between mounds of trivia you never cared about knowing. If you read something elsewhere that seems to contradict what you read in here, it's only because the other source is wrong. The CPF Mailing List is a place to go to if you want to blather about our crap (or at least listen to us do so) and/or ask questions and such. Someday, one of the fifty-odd current members who aren't actually in CPF might actually ask some, so be there when it happens!! The CPF F.A.Q. contains additional info the curious reader might wish to peruse regarding what we do and why. So don't say we never talk to you.
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(AP Newswire)